Sex is like math...
Add the bed...
Subtract the clothes....
Divide the legs and ...
IN IT GOES
loc bitchez be dwn fur der shit fake bitches test n get laid to rest
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Adults are just kids with money.
Enjoy life it's not a dress rehearsal.
Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
Ever since I met you, you've lived in my heart without paying any rent
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
IRS: We’ve Got What It Takes To Take What You’ve Got.
Which came first, the woman or the department store?
I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
If you are feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.
Has anyone ever told you that you have Scandinavian hands? (Uh, no.) No, of course not, that would be an incredibly stupid thing to say, wouldn't it?
For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.
If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people