Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted and have the time of your life!
No matter how bad it gets, It can always get worse.
You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.
Hey, come here often? You could, with me.
Your eyes have touched my soul
Strangers have the best candy
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I Used To Have A Handle On Life, But It Broke.
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
No one ever went broke under-estimating the taste of the American public.
I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.
I'm an experienced woman; I've been around... well, alright, I might not've been around, but I've been... nearby.
My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.