Hey kitten, how about spending some of your nine lives with me.
iF YOU CAN'T TAKE A JOKE TAKE A HIKE!
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?
If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
If you don't like my attitude, stop looking at my stickers!
If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
Hey, haven't I seen you before? I remember, it was in my dreams!
Please don't hit me I'm a pedestrian trapped in a car.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.
I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.
For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.