Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Dont worry that the world ends today, its already tomorrow in
Australia
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
Enjoy yourself. These are the ‘good old days’, you’re going to miss in the years to come.
I just wrote a book, but don't go out and buy it yet, because I don't think it's finished yet.
Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong
answers
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Forgive your enemies but remember their names
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.
A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor.
Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.
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