“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”
Mark Twain
“You can get all A’s and still flunk life.”
Walker Percy
“I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.”
Woody Allen
“I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.”
Yogi Berra
“I’ve been making a […]
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Wherever you go, go with all your heart. ~Confucius
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Shoot for […]
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tyre.
If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything
Sex […]
Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won’t spoil me.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.
I pretend to work here - they pretend to pay me.
Is somebody not editing what I’m saying here???
Someday, we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the […]
If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why are you scared
I used to soar with eagles before I got sucked into a jet engine.
All I ask is that you treat me no differently than you would the Queen.
It’s hard to […]
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
 ~cute myspace quote
Mom says too much candy will spoil my dinner. Well, dinner’s spoiled~so where’s dessert?
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Coffee? Tea? Me?
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BOMB SQUAD: If you see me running you better catch up!
 ~sweet saying by Cool Pickup
What is a ‘free’ gift? Aren’t all […]
Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off.
– Ralph Bus
Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.
– M. Berle
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.
– Robert Orben
Fashion is what […]
Forget about the days
when its been cloudy, but
don’t forget your hours in the sun
Forget about mistakes
that you can’t change now, but
don’t forget the lessons
that you’ve learned
Forget about the times
you’ve been defeated, but
don’t forget the victories you’ve won
Forget about misfortunes
you encounter, but
don’t forget the times your luck has turned
Forget about the days
when you’ve been lonely, but
don’t […]
Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet.
More funny Mae West quotes
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A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
More funny Helen Rowland quotes
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I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
More funny Anonymous quotes
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My husband said it was him or the cat… […]
2. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
3. To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
4. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
5. I get enough exercise pushing my luck.
6. If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
7. I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of […]