“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”
Mark Twain
“You can get all A’s and still flunk life.”
Walker Percy
“I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.”
Woody Allen
“I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.”
Yogi Berra
“I’ve been making a […]
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.
- Douglas Adams
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.
- Jean Giraudoux
Shaw writes his plays for the ages, the ages between five and twelve.
- George Nathan on George Bernard Shaw
He is to acting what […]
If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why are you scared
I used to soar with eagles before I got sucked into a jet engine.
All I ask is that you treat me no differently than you would the Queen.
It’s hard to […]
Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off.
– Ralph Bus
Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.
– M. Berle
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.
– Robert Orben
Fashion is what […]
Forget about the days
when its been cloudy, but
don’t forget your hours in the sun
Forget about mistakes
that you can’t change now, but
don’t forget the lessons
that you’ve learned
Forget about the times
you’ve been defeated, but
don’t forget the victories you’ve won
Forget about misfortunes
you encounter, but
don’t forget the times your luck has turned
Forget about the days
when you’ve been lonely, but
don’t […]
Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet.
More funny Mae West quotes
***
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
More funny Helen Rowland quotes
***
I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
More funny Anonymous quotes
***
My husband said it was him or the cat… […]
2. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
3. To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
4. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
5. I get enough exercise pushing my luck.
6. If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
7. I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of […]
Never start frowning because you never know who’s falling in love with
your smile
*everyone’s entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the privilege
God created men first, cause you always make a rough draft before a
masterpiece!
A Person Who Asks A Question Is A Fool For Five Minutes, A Person Who
Doesn’t Is A Fool Forever […]
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film. You know […]
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike ?
They both have ornamental balls.
What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve ?
They […]