“Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.”
Mark Twain
“Successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
German Greer
“There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two […]
Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won’t spoil me.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.
I pretend to work here - they pretend to pay me.
Is somebody not editing what I’m saying here???
Someday, we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the […]
If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why are you scared
I used to soar with eagles before I got sucked into a jet engine.
All I ask is that you treat me no differently than you would the Queen.
It’s hard to […]
2. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
3. To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
4. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
5. I get enough exercise pushing my luck.
6. If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
7. I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of […]
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film. You know […]
Q6. If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
Q7. As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take the course he will. He will be sure to repent. Socrates
Q8. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Q9. Marriage is a great […]
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
More funny Edgar Bergen quotes
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Conway’s Law: In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on - This person must be fired.
More funny Anonymous quotes
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Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. […]
You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty.
– Anonymous
The four most important words in any marriage…”I’ll do the dishes.”
– Anonymous
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
– Anonymous
Marriage is like jogging through a puddle of industrial strength rubber glue. You can […]
5. “Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.” ~ Anonymous
6. “An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body.” ~ Jim Hayes
7. “Give me one friend, just one, who meets the needs of all my varying moods.” ~ Esther M. Clark
8. “Love is blind. […]
Eddie Murphy, Shrek
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a super-fly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly!
Jason Biggs, American Pie
You realize we’re all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.
Hugh Grant, Notting Hill
It’s as if I’ve taken love heroin, and now […]