Funny & Humorous Quotations

My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don’t like? - Jean Cocturan

Everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the
priviledge

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either. - Dick Cavett

I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. - Will Rogers

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film

When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Never start frowning because you never know who’s falling in love
with your smile

Always give 3 weeks notice when you quit. It gives you extra time to screw around.

If you need space join NASA!