Funny & Humorous Quotations

# Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand. (Woody Allen)
# Don’t do it behind the garden gate. Love is blind but the neighbors ain’t! (Anonymous)
# My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. (Anonymous)
# There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL. (Lynn Lavner)
# Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship. (Sharon Stone)
# When the lights are out, all women are beautiful. (Anonymous)
# Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation… The other eight are unimportant. (Henry Miller)
# Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got. (Sophia Loren)
# Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It’s much sexier than any body part. (Aimee Mullins)
# Any piece of clothing can be sexy, with a quietly passionate woman inside it. (Anonymous)
# Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. (Billy Crystal)
# I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. (George Burns)